Poem: I hate myself

by | Nov 3, 2017 | Poetry | 25 comments

 

I hate myself for all the words I say

Which I detest from the bottom of my heart

 

I hate myself for all the things I do

Which never reflect in my list of tasks

 

I hate myself for tasks I fail to do

Which I’d love at the top of stack

 

I hate myself for all my actions

which make me feeble or depressed

 

I hate myself for all the inaction

Which makes me suspect myself

 

I hate myself for all the time

Which I drain to please others

 

I hate myself for all the drama

Which everyday life uncovers

 

I hate myself when I waste myself

And dread that my life is a waste

 

I hate myself when I rely on others

To assist me win life’s race

 

I hate myself when I can’t muster courage

To fly against the breeze

 

I hate myself for the life I live

Which I never imagined in dreams

 

Linked to dVerse Open Link Night #207

 

 

 

 

25 Comments

  1. pranabaxom

    “I hate myself for tasks I fail to do

    Which I’d love at the top of stack” – that’s the only thing that grows in my life without any care. If my bank balance would have grown like that! One can only wish.

    Reply
    • Feelings and Freedom

      I know. The lists of tasks that we wish to do is always a long one 🙂 Thanks for your comment!

      Reply
  2. Frank Hubeny

    Now should come the affirmations of gratitude, which are just as plentiful.

    Reply
    • Feelings and Freedom

      I know. There are plenty of things to be grateful for. Thanks Frank!

      Reply
  3. Grace

    Now go and make a lists of why you love yourself, smiles ~

    Reply
  4. Smitha V

    It’s so depressing but sadly a lot of people go through these feelings of hate and forget to love themselves for the things that are. You’ve captured how they feel well.

    Reply
    • Feelings and Freedom

      Thanks Smitha! It’s not a great feeling to be victimised by these thoughts but unfortunately, we all do!

      Reply
      • Smitha V

        Vandana you have the sweetest smile and a very understanding nature. Hope you are feeling much better now and this phase has passed.

        Reply
        • Feelings and Freedom

          Thank you so much for your concern and loving words dear. I’m hopeful it shall pass soon 🙂

          Reply
          • Smitha V

            I know it will. Just hold on and have faith. May God be with you.

  5. Alwi Shatry

    Sentiments understood. But the path of least resistance, loving thyself, may be well worth your while.

    Reply
  6. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I think a list like this will not help… a list of things you love would help as well.

    Reply
    • Feelings and Freedom

      Well, I am generally an optimistic person and write a lot about it but some days you are upset about just everything that happens in life… Thanks for your kind suggestion Bjorn!

      Reply
  7. D-Claire

    I know that feeling. Try to be kind to yourself – I love the idea from other commenters of a twin poem with affirmations!

    Reply
    • Feelings and Freedom

      Thanks Claire! It was just one of those days when everything around seems annoying. I know life cannot continue like that and we have to follow the light. Thanks for your words of wisdom 🙂

      Reply
  8. Akhila

    well.. a list from which we cannt escape..

    Reply
  9. erbiage

    Ah, it hurts to read this. So much of who I thought I was, was just wrong, now I am left with a hypocrite, and an idiot, who thought she was smart.

    Reply
    • Feelings and Freedom

      Well, I wouldn’t put it like that..just a passing phase i guess. I’m sure things will improve soon 🙂

      Reply
  10. Sarah Russell

    Heartfelt, but so sad. I hope you find your own beauty and worth.

    Reply
    • Feelings and Freedom

      Thanks Sarah. It was just one of those moments when nothing seems right. Thanks for your concern and wishes. Have a great weekend!

      Reply

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